Here's where I give out advice. If you're stumped or struggling, leave me an ask! All submissions are kept anonymous.
I’m really only just starting to think about my own gender in a serious way. The idea of a gender spectrum as opposed to a gender binary is something relatively new to me. Therefore, I didn’t really grow up with a fixed “gender”. It wasn’t something I thought about. I had a penis and that made me a boy. Being gay didn’t really change the fact that I had a penis, so I was still male.
The real troubles came after puberty. As boys became men and girls became women, I found myself stuck somewhere in between. I didn’t have much in common with the boys so I didn’t hang out with them, and I ended up being excluded from things like sleepovers or “girls’ night out”.
My secret desire for cross-dressing didn’t help either.
In theater I always connected with the female characters, but singing their songs or trying to play them always made me feel a bit silly. Not because I didn’t believe I could play the part, but because I knew that the other students watching would never truly see me as a woman - just some queer in a dress. To make matters worse I’ve had copious amounts of body hair from a very young age, so that only served to further shatter the possible illusion of femininity.
I guess I grew with my gender in something of a constant quagmire. It was never fully one way or the other. I was a defacto boy and I just thought that was how it was and how it had to be.
Looking back I guess I grew up as a prisoner to my gender, and I’ve only just started to look for the key.
This is the Quigley Scale… this makes radscums’ heads explode. As you can see, the boundary between “penis” and “vagina” is not as clean cut as radscums (and for that matter, cissexist society as a whole) makes it out to be. Radscums, when should you start using the mens’ room? Number 3? Number 4? I should point out that the Quigley scale applies only to androgen insensitivity syndrome. There are plenty of other intersex conditions out there that can produce totally different genital arrangments.
[Image description: a diagram scale showing various kinds of genitals. Number one shows what most people would refer to as a penis and scrotum. Number two shows a penis with a slit running on the underside, and a scrotum. Number 3 shows a small penis/large clitoris and a scrotum/labia majora (looks a bit closer to a scrotum). Number 4 shows a smaller penis/clitoris with a scrotum/labia majora (looks a bit closer to labia majora). Number 5 shows a vulva with a somewhat large clitoris. Numbers 6 and 7 show what most people would call a vulva with a “normal” sized clitoris.]
i love making cissexists minds spin by explaining intersex stuff.
DO NOT remove this image description.
This is the correct picture. Please ignore any you see saying “Some women have penises”. This is not true, I even consulted my doctor and a biologist friend (no, “biologist” is not a sexuality, please don’t try to add it to that LGBTXYZ list).
Fun fact: There are actually (at least) five human sexes. Some people who present male genitalia have ovaries and a uterus, and there are all kinds of things in between male and female. I don’t know where your doctor got his med license or where your biologist friend studied his craft but they may want to check their schools’ accreditations. Gender was created by humans, not nature. Sex isn’t black-and-white and neither is Gender.
Women can have penises, too.
Get over yourself!